"Eggtown" Has Egg On Its Face

I'll just start by saying this was probably my *least* favorite Lost episode so far. I would almost go so far as to say it jumped the shark. How do you know if a show has jumped the shark? You look at your past blog entries about how great the show is and you're embarrassed for yourself.

First of all, NO ONE gets time served for a laundry list of charges like were brought against Kate. In fact, when I saw her enter the courtroom I said, "If she leaves with time served, I'm selling my TV." Oh, but she's really hot you're saying. That's not enough either: just look at our local girl Mary Kay LeTourneau.

We did get confirmation that Jack does, in fact, love Kate -- now and in the future. So the $10 I spent on my new domain name will obviously pay for itself. But then we see Jack can lie about what happened on the island no problem, but the lying gets harder when he has to look at Aaron.

Now on to the theories:

1) Baby Aaron may be the devil. I say this because the psychic said he would be evil if not raised by Claire. And Matthew Abaddon seems to be looking for him, and I've read that Abbadon's name is a reference to the devil. He may be searching out his successor.

2) Claire is in the coffin. She did get on the helicopter with Aaron, as Desmond predicted, but what Desmond couldn't see was that she was on the helicopter dead, much like Naomi. Sure, the newspaper clipping Jack had said "Man found dead," but I think that article was about his dad. His dad drank himself to death (because the universe course corrected), and the L.A. Times article mentioned Claire was his dad's daughter in Australia -- a fact Jack didn't know (and is very upset about). So then he goes to Claire's funeral, whom he and the other Oceanic 6 had brought back as one of the purported two that Kate couldn't save. Claire has no one in L.A., explaining the lack of visitors. This is why Jack is shocked that Kate didn't attend -- she is passing off this woman's son as her own and doesn't even attend her funeral!

Redeeming qualities:

This episode did have some excellent Skate foreplay, but it seems Kate can no longer see past his dreadful personality and just wants to cuddle. Sawyer may be spending the rest of his life on the island bunking with Hurley (and what, there are enough barracks for everyone to get their own?). Though he did have a valid point about her bouncing between him and Jack. I personally wouldn't have slapped him on the beak for that.

Relativity and the Rocket Clock

I've been puzzling over the Daniel-rocket experiment on last week's Lost episode, "The Economist," and found myself again staring at the ceiling mumbling, "What could it mean? What could it all mean?"

The facts are these: Daniel apparently travels with a rocket that has a clock in it. Regina, his colleague on the boat, is familiar with this rocket and with the experiment he wants to conduct, as Daniel does not have to explain much to get her to fire it. When fired, she commences a countdown without prompting, as if she's done this before. Daniel and Regina refer to this rocket clock as "the payload."

With that to go on, I did some searching on rocket clock experiments, and quickly found details of an experiment called the Vessot Rocket Clock Experiment, conducted in 1976 by Robert Vessot and Martin Levine. As described in the book, "Was Einsteen Right?" Vessot created a clock that could be loaded into a rocket and launched into the atmosphere. He did this from Wallops Island, while his colleague waited on Merritt Island with the ground clock for the "payload," as they referred to it.

It gets better. At 8 minutes 31 seconds into the experiment (Daniel observed a 31-minute difference between the island clock and rocket clock), a cancellation between gravitational blue shift and time dilation occurred. It took the scientists two years to process the data gathered in this one experiment, and when they where finished, humanity's understanding of curved space-time had made a significant leap.

Building on this experiment, physicists later developed the Principal of Maximal Aging, which answers the "Twin Paradox." I was also interested not only to see a mention of twins, which is a major theme in Lost, but a mention of Minkowski, specifically "Minkowski space."

I also found it interesting when researching curved space-time that one of the leading minds is Lewis Carroll Epstein. His book "Relativity Visualized" contains illustrations showing how the "curvature of time" causes objects to fall downward near the surface of the earth and causes time to run slower in the basement than on the top floor of the building -- illustrating the findings of the Vessot Rocket Clock Experiment. Could the Lost show title, "Through the Looking Glass" be a reference to Epstein?

Back to Daniel and the rocket. When he calls Regina and says, "Fire the payload," Frank says, "He does this kind of stuff on the boat all the time." The question is: Why would someone need to regularly run experiments testing the curvature of space-time? Because -- drum roll please -- the island is in a black hole. A black hole would create a gravity well and a strong distortion of space-time (to the tune of 31 minutes?). Of course, they could also be in a neutron star.

That kind of reminds me of the movie "Contact," in which Jodie Foster talked to her dead father on an island in a neutron star, much like Jack talked to his dad on an island (in a neutron star?). But I digress.

One final note on this experiment. The ratio of difference between Daniel's clock and the rocket's clock is 1:31. Genesis 1:31, "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day." Oceanic Six, anyone?

Oceanic Six: On Trial

Here's the latest crackpot Lost theory I'm working on: the term "Oceanic Six" is a name given to the six defendants in a very high-profile trial.

When I first heard the name "Oceanic Six" I immediately thought of Abbie Hoffman and the Chicago Seven. The Chicago Seven were defendants in a high-profile 1969 trial. The original Chicago Eight were indicted for demonstrating against police action at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. One of the eight did not complete the trial, leaving the Chicago Seven.

News of the Chicago Seven and their courtroom antics was major national news fare. Hoffman's face became so recognizable, he would write "FUCK" on his forehead so his face wouldn't get on TV.

Even now, 38 years (almost to the day) after the Feb. 18, 1970 verdict where all members of the Chicago Seven were acquitted, the trial is still a headline. Aaron Sorkin recently wrote a movie about the trial; it's being produced by Steven Spielberg and is scheduled to start shooting next month.

All this is to prove that a high-profile trial would be one of the best ways to make the "Oceanic Six" the most recognizable faces in America, if not the world. Sayid in a flash-forward in the Seychelles says he was the recipient of a large settlement. A major trial could have convened for months before the Oceanic Six decided to swear their silence and take a settlement. (But the fact that they are recognizable from the trial suggests an open courtroom, a place where most secrets would come out -- but I guess not all).

The number "Six," instead of Seven as in the Chicago Seven, may allude to another novel we can add to the list of Lost literary references. "Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said," is a Phillip K. Dick novel where the main character is a celebrity who loses his identity overnight. The novel is set in an America that has become a police state. Also present are a race of super-humans called the "Six." With themes of rebellion in a police state and celebrity in common with the Chicago conspiracy trial, and the prevalent "Six" in common with the "Oceanic Six," I have to think it's not coincidental.

Skater vs. Jater

I don't Know why this is even a question. Of course I want Kate to end up with Jack. Here's what bothers me about the Skate camp:

• Sawyer is a hick and a conservative. I grew up in rural America and am familiar with the species. They are not misunderstood, or sensitive one minute, a huge a-hole the next. They're usually just a-holes.
• Kate has reservations too. Sawyer is just like her dad - only not a drunk because all the island has to offer is 20-year-old Dharma beer, a wine bottle you have to wrestle out of Desmond's hands, and maybe some half-empty vanilla bottles (which I learned from Amy Sedaris will work in a pinch).

That being said, I do enjoy a teensy bit of Skate here and there. My two favorite Skate vids:

• Brighter Than Sunshine
• Dream a Little Dream of Me. By Mama Cass-also a Desmond favorite.

I should also come clean that my true fave is Desmond. As much as I loathe the surely duplicitous Juliet, I was hoping to see some Desmond-Juliet action in the woods just for fun. And just so he could say "I'm sorry, brother," to Jack and Jack would cry.

Lost Island Exists in Paleozoic Era

A few notes on the most recent episode, "Confirmed Dead."

1) The "ghost" dustbuster -- there is a circular element on the front of this device that looks exactly like a CD cleaner I bought a couple years ago:
http://www.amazon.com/Digital-Innovations-Skipdoctor-Repair-Kit/dp/B00005B9W6

2) Why does the pilot look like he fell out of the sky and his phone is broken when he landed the plane safely? There shouldn't be a scratch on him.

3) The island exists way back in time. Specifically, before the paleozoic era. I found a couple science briefs on magnetic anomolies in Tunisia, and also on how flora in Tunisia was found to match ancient flora in Australia:

http://tinyurl.com/2lfb8z
http://tinyurl.com/2ufjjm

This would explain the compass not pointing north, because the polarity of the earth has changed many times. Most recently 750,000 years ago.
http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/earth_poles_040407.html

This also explains the teradactyl charlie saw. There's probably plenty of other dinosaurs.

The polar bears, dolphins and sharks were brought back in time to the island by Dharma.

It explains all the dead people on the island like Jack's father and Ben's mom -- if Ben can make people travel through time, he can bring them back from a time they were alive.

And it explains why Jack's father is alive in the future -- because he was brought back in time before he died, he went back to the future as one of the Oceanic 6. He was, technically, on the plane -- though in a coffin. But he may have been on the manifest -- with an asterik.

4) The submarine must be a time-travel device. Which has something to do with why Locke blew it up.

5) This gives the show a great hope, because of its true the Lostaways are all back in time, they can go forward to any point and not make all the mistakes they made in their pitiful lives. One thing is certain: they have all made horrendous mistakes that I'm sure they would undo if they could. This might be exactly what they did.

Ben showed them how to time travel and before going back to their own time, Kate first didn't burn up her father (so she's not wanted), Jack didn't turn in his dad (so his dad's not dead -- he's still a doctor). Hurley didn't play the lottery. But they paid a high price for this -- their lives now suck really bad and they want to go "back" -- that is, back in time.

6) Reference to my last theory about the poles: one of the Freighties is Charlotte S. Lewis (C.S. Lewis). Narnia was a land where it was perpetually winter.

Now that I am *finally* caught up to the 4th season of Lost, I have a new favorite theory.

When I was a kid, my dad told me about the inner Earth and the possibility of a hollow Earth. Because Lost is all about daddy issues, I have to give special weight to a theory purported by my own dad.

So, the Hollow Earth can be accessed from the South Pole, and exited from the North Pole. The South Pole entrance explains the polar bears. It also explains why Penny's team looks to be in an antarctic bunker -- that is the closest place they have picked up a signal. The Oceanic 815 plane departed Australia for Los Angeles. I know when you fly Seattle to Europe, they fly over the North Pole to save time. Surely, an Australia-L.A. flight would do the same. They got sucked into the South Pole and down into inner earth -- Agharta.

Legend has it Hitler himself when looking for inner earth, and may have found it and escaped there.

The opener of season four dropped us several clues that the island is within the hollow earth. 1) Hurley saying Charlie was in front of the HoHos, and 2) Jack getting H-O in a game of horse with Hurley. Both references to Santa -- the poles.

If the show is flashing forward, and Jack and Hurley are traveling back to the island -- they will first need to go to the South Pole.

More about the Hollow Earth: http://strangemaps.wordpress.com/2007/03/01/85-inside-the-hollow-earth/

Very Weak and Still Lost

I must come clean that after saying I would watch no more Lost, I continued to camp out on the couch and watch episode after perplexing episode.

This morning, in a hazy, sleep-deprived moment of clarity, I arrived at the answer to every question raised on the show. And there are many:

http://www.lostpedia.com/wiki/Unanswered_questions

What I think is the most important question is not on this list: Why does Ben tell Juliet that taking women off the island to conceive is not possible? This question is the key to nearly every other question. I ran this through a thousand possibilities, and even mind-mapped it. Here's the solution:

There are two types of Others -- those who were "born" on the island and those who were brought there. Those who were "born" there cannot step off the island because they are holograms. That's also why they cannot go to term with a pregnancy -- they themselves are not flesh and blood.

The idea came to me as I was staring at the ceiling in my office repeating to myself, "Why can't they leave? Why can't couples just honeymoon in Fiji and come back and have a healthy baby?" Then I thought of Professor Moriarty on Star Trek. He could not leave the holodeck because he was a hologram. One foot off and he would disintegrate. In the same way, a young Other couple cannot exist in Fiji. Ben knows this but he won't tell them.

Many of the objects are also holograms. I believe the island, besides sustaining its holographic inhabitants can also implant memories and replicate items. The implanted memories, like Kate's black stallion or Sayid's cat, coincide with the materialization of the subject of the memories in the place in which the physical person exists.

So, how can a hologram have a tumor? Easy. Ben thought about a tumor for some reason and it appeared on his back. How can Jack operate on a hologram? Just like the game operation. The guy with the big red nose isn't really human.

Ben learned this truth, and has made it his life's work to become real -- just like Moriarty wanted. He wants to step off the holodeck. He has recruited off-islanders like Ethan and Juliet to this end, by promising them miracles. And if you were a hologram and wanted to be real, what would you do? Study real people.

Now reframe all your Lost questions with this in mind. Doesn't it all just make sense now?

Cutting my "Lost"ses

I have decided not to continue my quest to catch up to Lost. After three straight days of watching Lost DVDs, I have become disenchanted with the show.

Last night, I watched the first episode of season three. Jack got angry and cried a lot, they all did whatever the Others told them, Sawyer acted like a circus animal. They all basic lost whatever shreds of dignity they had left.

I couldn't relate anymore. Not to mention, of the thousands of questions the show raises, some they beat you over the head with the answers and others they leave on a raft in the ocean, figuratively speaking. And the flashbacks are boring my to tears.

Besides, I have greeting cards to scan, so TV ban is back on.

"Lost" In Time

So, I am officially the last person on Earth to start watching "Lost."

My early decision to not watch "Lost" was based on several criteria:

• I was angry that J.J. Abrams was getting all kinds of attention for this show and not for "Alias"
• It was just too "water cooler" for me
• I had given up watching TV for the summer
  
• I had rented and watched the pilot last year and found it weird and off-putting

But, I decided to give it another try. In the last week, I have absorbed all of season one and about seven eps of season two. And now friends are telling me season four starts on Thursday! So, my work is cut out for me: finish season two, and tackle three before Thursday. I know what you're thinking: That is impossible. But, this is not my first time playing DVD catch-up.

Several years ago, I Netflixed the first episode of Alias when it was mid-season-four on ABC. In about two weeks, I was caught up AND had "found" the 6 season four episodes I missed on the Internet. Now it should be clear why I simply cannot fit in exercise.