In Case You Missed It: Single Email Explanation

My friend Robyn asked me to explain the show in a single email, so here is my attempt:

Our interest in the Island begins in the Middle Kingdom of Egypt. The Island is always moving and at one point in about 2,000 B.C. it was off the coast of Egypt and lots of people, seeing it, boated to the island. It soon moved again so they were stuck there. The people created a civilization. Already on the island was a magical woman guarding a well of light. She had been assigned the post by a supernatural being after the creation of the Earth. The well of light is contained with a cork. Dislodging the cork or interrupting the light in any way may cause some people to shift in time and may also transport one to Tunisia. In the same way, detonating a hydrogen bomb in proximity to the light may cause unexpected effects in time and space and is not recommended. When the people arrive from Egypt, the woman intercepts a pregnant woman and kills her and steals her twins and raises them as her own. She tasks one of them with guarding the light and never letting the cork be pulled -- Jacob -- and the other is thrown into the light and the supernatural being transforms him into the smoke monster. The woman, and then Jacob, routinely kill all island invaders and inhabitants in order to keep the light safe. The only exception is the "candidates," who are nurtured by Jacob to take over for him, as he feels threatened by the smoke monster. The island's dead go to a purgatory, which is a world where the island is not active (it is sunk) and they can work out their issues without supernatural interference before going to heaven. Sometimes the dead are not allowed to leave the island and stay on as whispers. Before 1970, all of the island's inhabitants were Egyptian descendants or shipwreck survivors. With improvements in science and technology, word of the island and its magical nature became known off-island and scientists from Minnesota set up shop there and began doing experiments. They called this project the Dharma Initiative. Jacob gave orders to his followers to have them exterminated, as his mother had done to island people before them. As of 2007, the new protector of the light was Hurley. Jack had gone on to heaven, while others like Michael remained on the island as whispers. It is likely more people will find the island and attempt to exploit it and Hurley will ask his #2, Ben, to kill them. Until he's ready to retire, he will sit on a rock, paint pictures, talk to dead people, and eat Dharma ranch dressing that is dropped from the sky by the supernatural being.